ABSTRACT:
This paper uses the story of one young man's coming of age to
consider the natural process of
initiation as a model for intentional work with youth, The paper
proposes a
conscious and meaningful rites-of-
passage approach to helping children and youth (particularly
troubled and
troubling or out-of-control youth) by
assisting them in a successful passage to adulthood.
I want to begin with a tale about the individual
metamorphosis of an
adolescent
boy. He was to be thirteen in a few weeks and his parents, conscious
of the
beginning
of his teen years, invited the extended family of uncles, aunts, and
grandparents to a
special birthday dinner. My husband and I, close friends of the
family, were
included
among the elders. It happened that we were ourselves entertaining a
couple from
California – the man, a successful movie and TV actor, and his
wife, a gifted
artist.
They were also asked to join the celebration, especially because
this young boy,
turning
toward manhood, had particular talents in both art and drama.
Gifts given, congratulations received, we gathered at
the table, festive
with
decorations made by his younger brother and sister. The boy himself
was seated
at the
head of the table, serving champagne for the elders and sparkling
cider for the
young
ones. Instead of the usual toasts, his father asked that each of the
men present
give
him a statement of wisdom from their own life experience. Those I
remember were
my
husband's, "No matter how strong the pressures of the collective
become, always
find a
way to be true to yourself," and the actor's, "Never let your
talents be sold
out in any
way that you cannot defend morally." Statements of morality,
honesty, and
honoring of
selfhood.
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